toddler rules

The older Kayla gets, the more apparent it becomes to Sam and Liz that they are clearly sinners saved by grace, utterly helpless apart from the power of the Holy Spirit. The most current lesson in parenting concerns the never ending struggle to maintain consistency with regards to rules and discipline. In general, the Pak household tends to be pretty laidback, and thus the list is short and sweet.

1. Clean up your own messes
2. Don't touch means don't touch
   
3. Share your toys and keep your fingers out of your friends ears/noses/mouths
   
4. Tables and counter tops are not interchangeable for chairs
5. If you must throw a hissy fit, do it in the privacy of your own room and rejoin the rest of us when you've maintained your composure

Kayla, on the other hand, has a fairly extensive list of rules. A modicum of conduct that Sam and Liz have had to learn the hard way, trial by fire style. For those of you who have yet to travel the unchartered terrain of toddler-hood, we thought we'd share this list with you. Perhaps now when your time comes, you might be a little more prepared than we were.

Toddler Rules
author unknown

If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.
If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it is paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it is a phone, I must talk to it.
If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it IS food, it must not be tasted.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
If it is a carseat, it must be protested with arched back.



Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord

You're welcome